I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
