Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize