I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize