Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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