I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
