that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
