In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Im part way to drunk.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
