just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Sorry my hands just texted you
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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