That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
