yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
