So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
