Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
