I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
