Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
