You really coming over, don't trick.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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