Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
