no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
