I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
