At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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