Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Found your dick twin last night
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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