Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
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