what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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