Cold hands, warm shart.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
