I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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