we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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