This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize