no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
