I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
