Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
