i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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