oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
