Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you would pick up someone in the library
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
