As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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