just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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