Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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