Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize