and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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