I'm really into asian looking animals
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
