i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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