I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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