I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
