Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize