so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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