remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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