you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
