just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
