If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
