i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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