Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
