WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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