all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
