the new term for farting is butt boxing.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
