Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
