why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
