It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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