I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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