god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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