this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize