you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
