I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
