well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
