I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Your penis caused this!
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