and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
