I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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