that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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