how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
