Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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