Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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