There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
