i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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