but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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