That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize